Manic Depresson

Manic Depresson

Oh...
my days I must not dwell
Just because I'm all alone,
Let those others grasp the hardy
Arms upon their throne
Feel almighty and powerful
Reign down pelt on me,
Foresee my umbrella failing me
A sheltered guard against
Such unruly flavours.

You may have lost your taste for me
Its doesn't mean I'm gone,
So now my shone and flow
Is breaking,
My heart strings taunt and hurt
Twang away at crappy tunes, so
I'll hide here in the shadows
Until I completely fade away
amongst the dull grey dreary clouds
and shrouds of un-wantedness.

Oh my once was pretty days...
The ways in which those
Memories still sweep my mind...
So now I've friends to find
And much time to do it in,
Ex unworthy friends
You're a sham,
that I now slam you for
And even though you consider me worthless as a tool for own personal services
of value still I am!

Poetry and slamming verse against certain obstacles faced me frequently in life... There appears no getting away from it!

Again the bloody poison and pain of losing some such who were one day
my much beloved so called friend;
I waited so long hoping you would take just one little step in my direction,
offer me just a tiny ounce of attention,
but your shallowness left me, heartbroken alone and filled with sadness.

Feeling your shirking shoulder
Still lurking around the corners, and
Still with the powers to scorn me,
Everyday with the quietness
no conversation,
The stillness of no movement,
The dullness of dirty dust,
No lust or liking
Can be rather frightening.

This happens over time ....

First you slowly crumble to pieces
Like a digestive, slowly your edges give way, slowly you flake away more so, no lift of hope ever arrives, only the blight of numbness, consistently confused by your own personal feelings, emotions crippling you... Daily

Then all you want is for it to all end,
But for too long now
I have been without a friend,
No longer do I long to spend my time
this way,
When you begin to wish away your days and life,
Because no man wants you as his wife,
Utterly no one whom to depend on
I may as well be long gone,
Buried beneath a hearty earthy granite stone.
No one, no one, no one...
Entombed alone.

Fuck it I'm still here aren't I ..... If only I did not feel ashamed and guilty; thee would have waved across the land and skies, my final goodbyes, long time ago....