Stage play start: dragging my body, but where to?
Stage play act a bit....
Did you think I was dead?
What was you going to do with me?
You slapped me so hard so many times that I fell flat unconscious upon that cold calous floor...
When I awoke, dashed by with flashes of confusion, thoughts dazed, my mind crazed, and still your shrilling screaming words shocked to amaze me.
So proudly shouting titles upon me the scrupulous slag, wreckless whore, don't no more come knocking at my door, shocking my almost worthless confidence more and still more.
Didn't know where I was, twas my arm you held so tightly on to, my body splayed, laying on my back you pulled and dragged, by just my feeble arm, disarmed by your failings, scarred by the scorn of your brittle slicing scythe,...
Still you pull, hurting, Chinese burns, carpet scuffs my skin so roughly, black
and blue
from my head down to my toes, those were such blackened days, filled with
aches and pains swayed heavy a daily,
battle, your despising hate was a
locust plague, a slow suffocating,
war stealing away at my brains confusion, intelligence ebbing and
melting away from me. Once it was such a happy precious mind, ..........
and still you tug away, not a single look of care in any of your eyes, the eternal changing traffic lights, but you never knew in advance which colour those lights would change to.... Red run for your fucking life girl!
But, still my
almost dead weight you drag across the room towards the doorway.
Some shocking burst of shock erupted, hurt, panic, fear, was this here now my day? I thought it was.... What would you do in such a weakened scary position?
That hell bent biting might of you, poisoned me slowly that night, with agonising consequences, crushing away at that little bit of self worth I had left, crushing me like grapes, I would have made a gem sweet bottle of red wine before I met you, since then you've been a soul destroyer, breaking
my layers away, chipping at my hard exterior flooding my dams with
floods of tears, so many times in those years I cried, lonely and frightened, I prayed for you so many times I begged unto God for this to stop, for you to stop with this travesty, tragedy, the man I met from years ago is dead and gone, and as for me, where once a bright star burned excitedly, now my flames are dying slowly away on a daily basis, weakened, wronged, broken, lonely and slowly fading, my light is dimming, and it's not like I can just pop in a new light bulb, is it.....
Then adrenalin rush, my body moves dashing up from the floor ,racing heavily hastily, hardily frantically breathing, my anticipations tease at me, will the door be unlocked, will I get out before he grabs hold of me, rushing asthma attack beginning, blood pumping so fast, heart beating down.... I'm out! I'm out, I made it out alive....!
Now what?
Stuck out here in the dark cold dull and dreary rains of middle night.... No way home, no public transport or taxis to be found,
The bastard has my fucking car keys, I prayer again for him, how long this freezing night will you make me wait, with no shoes upon my feet, no phone, no purse, no bag, no drink..... No pillow, fucking wet, pissed off, hurting, but for just a little while now, im free of him!!
Did you think I was dead?
What was you going to do with me?
You slapped me so hard so many times that I fell flat unconscious upon that cold calous floor...
When I awoke, dashed by with flashes of confusion, thoughts dazed, my mind crazed, and still your shrilling screaming words shocked to amaze me.
So proudly shouting titles upon me the scrupulous slag, wreckless whore, don't no more come knocking at my door, shocking my almost worthless confidence more and still more.
Didn't know where I was, twas my arm you held so tightly on to, my body splayed, laying on my back you pulled and dragged, by just my feeble arm, disarmed by your failings, scarred by the scorn of your brittle slicing scythe,...
Still you pull, hurting, Chinese burns, carpet scuffs my skin so roughly, black
and blue
from my head down to my toes, those were such blackened days, filled with
aches and pains swayed heavy a daily,
battle, your despising hate was a
locust plague, a slow suffocating,
war stealing away at my brains confusion, intelligence ebbing and
melting away from me. Once it was such a happy precious mind, ..........
and still you tug away, not a single look of care in any of your eyes, the eternal changing traffic lights, but you never knew in advance which colour those lights would change to.... Red run for your fucking life girl!
But, still my
almost dead weight you drag across the room towards the doorway.
Some shocking burst of shock erupted, hurt, panic, fear, was this here now my day? I thought it was.... What would you do in such a weakened scary position?
That hell bent biting might of you, poisoned me slowly that night, with agonising consequences, crushing away at that little bit of self worth I had left, crushing me like grapes, I would have made a gem sweet bottle of red wine before I met you, since then you've been a soul destroyer, breaking
my layers away, chipping at my hard exterior flooding my dams with
floods of tears, so many times in those years I cried, lonely and frightened, I prayed for you so many times I begged unto God for this to stop, for you to stop with this travesty, tragedy, the man I met from years ago is dead and gone, and as for me, where once a bright star burned excitedly, now my flames are dying slowly away on a daily basis, weakened, wronged, broken, lonely and slowly fading, my light is dimming, and it's not like I can just pop in a new light bulb, is it.....
Then adrenalin rush, my body moves dashing up from the floor ,racing heavily hastily, hardily frantically breathing, my anticipations tease at me, will the door be unlocked, will I get out before he grabs hold of me, rushing asthma attack beginning, blood pumping so fast, heart beating down.... I'm out! I'm out, I made it out alive....!
Now what?
Stuck out here in the dark cold dull and dreary rains of middle night.... No way home, no public transport or taxis to be found,
The bastard has my fucking car keys, I prayer again for him, how long this freezing night will you make me wait, with no shoes upon my feet, no phone, no purse, no bag, no drink..... No pillow, fucking wet, pissed off, hurting, but for just a little while now, im free of him!!
Unpublished poetry writer and artist with a creative flare to share, because if no nothing more I love and care
❤ 💕 ♥
(c)Toni Cairns 2020
(c)Toni Cairns 2020
Comments
Post a Comment